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Momma said it’s time to look at how I’ve been
Said at four o’clock and it’s past fifteen
She’s probably about to ring but I won’t be ready for long
See I’m not very fond of letting someone in
Last time my father put quite a scene
Sure takes a miracle for us to start getting along
The thing about home is that I feel there’s always something wrong
I’m pacing through the house, stumble upon the cats
They fooled me pretty good, they’re no diplomats
At least they get annoyed every time I burst into song
What’s worse: there are dirty plates from there to here
It’s not they’re gonna kill me, sure, what’s to fear?
Well I’d tell you… but I ain’t got much long
The thing about home is that I feel there’s always something wrong
She’s climbing up the stairs, she’s already here
She’s knocking at the door, just a bit my dear
Last time the key was turning, but now I’m not that strong
I suppose I’ll try the kitchen, go and grab and bite
But there isn’t much to eat and that sure ain’t right
The thing about home is that I feel there’s always something wrong
I’m sorry momma but I won’t be ready for long
I’m sorry momma but I won’t be ready for long
I’m sorry momma but I feel that something’s going on
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I used to work hard, man, that felt great
Got up real early, and stayed ‘till late
Expectations were high, my grip was tight
Made plans to grind all through the night
Then once I slept long till after the break of dawn
Woke up wishing I had never been born
The sun was just fine as the day went on
I glimpsed at the clock, the moon was where it belonged
I debated for long, yeah, it was all on me
Made sure to believe, “hey, let it be”
Denial took its time, acceptance was hard to chew
And no meds did what booze could do
The life I envisioned rolled to the ground
Got no money in my pocket, there’s none to be found
Day in, day out, I lost all track of time
I just wished it was a victimless crime
Before it was easy, now all we do is fight
Woke up one morning, told me to get out of her sight
I reached out for help, tried to explain it all
By now it was too late; all I could do was stall
Sure, there was suicide, but so what, big deal
I was never depressed, never saw the appeal
It’s anger I feel the most and that’s just what I’ll miss
When this thing gets it over with and hands its last kiss
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This wasn’t the plan. After “Come Flames”, I expected to dedicate my time and effort to HOOFMARK’s first LP which would see the project return to its breed of old metal. One of the perks of being free though is being able to fail on your promises, even on the ones you do to yourself. In most cases doing so would make me feel uncomfortable. But my failing here comes from a good place. I’m cool.
“Chunks” is HOOFMARK’s most personal release yet and that goes beyond the actual tracks. This 2-sided single was recorded with an old and very special Spanish guitar that has been in my family for many years and that I restored for the purpose of playing these songs. And although its contents can be rather desolate, this new release is also a celebration of new life and I dedicate it to a grand new smile on Earth.
“Ready Before Long” comes first on the track list. It’s not the title track, nor was it written before “Chunks” (it was actually written in May of 2017), but it’s the one that sounds better coming first. It’s the second most hopeless song I have ever written and it came to me after a most joyous day out with my mother. This was Workers’ Day, or May 1st. We don’t spend that many days together anymore. My girlfriend was out of town and I was at home alone but not really wanting to be alone at home, so I made plans to be with my mother. It was a very nice, very pleasant day. Good temperature, the sun high in the sky, mostly blue skies. We went to an Italian restaurant by the river and had pizza together and it was very good. After that we went to a museum and I think it was the first time I went to a museum with my mother as an adult which, again, was fantastic. Everything was pretty much perfect, you know? I had recently become a vegetarian and I shared the news with my mother that day and she was very understanding. That’s always nice too. When I got home that day, I sat on my chair and pretty much wrote “Ready Before Long” from start to finish. Took me about a month to learn it on the guitar. Nice song, I think. A bit fragmented, perhaps, but that only highlights its organic nature. And organic is always better.
“Chunks” is the harshest song I have ever written and I did so way back in April 2016 (so even before “Stoic Winds” was released). I was at a restaurant. It was a regular day at the office and it was lunch time. I probably had a steak or something and I was drinking wine, as I usually did at that restaurant. It was red wine, fresh. And I don’t quite remember if I asked for a piece of paper or if I had a tissue with me, but I basically wrote the song right there and then. Expect for the final two verses, I think. I remember going home that day and showing it to my girlfriend and she enjoying it, though she seemed afraid that something was wrong with us or with me at the very least because it was so sad a song. I was fine, of course. It’s just how the song emerged. I can't write when I'm sad or generally feeling miserable anyway. What's more, me with songs and lyrics and melodies I feel I really need to put them down fast and get a hold of the moment or risk losing it forever. It has been like that for a while now. I know I have already lost material because I didn’t get there sooner. The day after I wrote the song I picked up the guitar and started playing it in the simplest manner I could. It’s what made the most sense for this mostly spoken word track.
Nuno
Lisboa, 3 de julho de 2017
This record is dedicated to a grand new smiling face on Earth. Bem-vinda, LEONOR!
Special thanks to Filipa Vargas, Patrícia Bernardo, Paula Monteiro, Ivo Bernardo e Clara Estanqueiro.
Keep up with HOOFMARK on facebook at
fb.com/hoofmarkofficial, instagram at
instagram.com/hoofmark_official, or contact me on hoofmarkofficial@gmail.com. Finally, head over to
porchfires.com for a bit of literature.
HOOFMARK is strictly AGAINST nazis, homophobes, transphobes, sexist douchebags and bigots. All narrow-mindedness is unwelcome!
A VINYL VERSION of this single was pressed by Vinilficio, in Italy. I have a very little number of copies. If you are interested in buying one give me a shout out.